Start of Something New

I want to make a difference!
I am tired of stressing over things like a paper due or how many hours I can sleep a night(even though those things are important.)
I want to make a change for the better, I think I need to stop limiting myself by saying that I can't do anything because of the small town where I live. God can use me where he put me, as hard as that is to believe at times it's true. I am obviously hear for a reason, wether it be to save or change other peoples lives, or try to be an example of God's love for other people to see(which is a huge challenge in itself.)
I think if I change my attitude there may be a huge work for me to do here, in this small place.
If God gives me the oppurtunities to go out and share his "story", or even to help people to show the never-ending love, that is a blessing, because I would love to do that, and it needs to be done. But maybe at the moment I need to stick here and work!
Sometimes I catch myself being very lazy, and that bugs me to no extent. I cannot even comprehend the amount of oppurtune time I waste, some would call it sad, some would say that it is a sin. I agree with both.

Today I didn't go to school because my whole body is not feeling good, in hundreds of different ways, but myabe this is a blessing. Today I have to do: History Paper, Pick courses, Block scene for Dinner Theatre, Book Report, Read the book the Book Report is on, Memorize speech, learn lines for production, and perhaps pick a cast for drama fest play.
Look at that... the last two aren't neccesary for today, and most likely will not get done.
Today, once I shower, and get those things under control, hopefully I will feel better, and hopefulle I will be able to have a wonderful day with God. Sometimes that confuses me. I just wish I were able to constantly feel God around me, you know what? I think that may be possible. The more I ponder it the more I realize that perhaps God is always around me and I just don't turn around to say "HI!".

Start of something new. (and yes those are High School Musical lyrics: Movie 1, Scene 2, Song 1, Line 1, if you were wondering.)
My something new is this, I want to try to accept that I am where I am, and I have a load of oppurtunities here, and I have to be able to use those, no matter how hard they are to see.
Also, I must try to stop wasting time and do what needs to be done. The right things!
And lastly, I have to spend more time with God, and learn form him, and realize that he forgives me and that I can have a relationship with him again.




*Sometimes it feels like God is writing these things down, where else does it come from? I'm okay with it!

Fire

I'm back,
I forgot how much I loved actually talking and debating and discussion God, religion, and all that jazz. Even reading articles gets me a little pumped. I thank God for giving me people who I can talk to about all this. Very groovy. I'm liking it.
I have a smile on my face, last night I read two chapters of acts (recomended by a friend.) The reading gave me a whole new, for lack of a better word, attitude.

By the way, these blogs are more of a self journey thing, sorry readers.

Dear God

Well Hello, it has been quite some time.
I have fallen, and grown, and fallen, and learned so many times.
At times I feel as if I am farther behind then I ever was. That is my fault in this month I have done some terrible things that I am absolutely horrified to even ponder. But as a friend told me, I've learned from these things.
Yesterday was the first time I felt the peace of God in so long.
It is funny really, I have all these plans this summer to go on a missions trip in LA and do great things for God, but as of now, I am just living the most stupid life...
God, God, God...
I have so many dreams. Seriously, as lame as it is. I really want to be a movie star. So I heard this thing: God wouldn't give you dreams that you couldn't aspire within time.
haha, I don't even know what to think.

I am a hypocrite, you know that?

Man oh man... God is constantly working on me, putting new people in my life, new oppurtunities, new temptations(and ways to run away from them). I pray that he won't stop no matter how rude and inconsiderate I am at times.