All of a Sudden I am giving God a negative connotation, as soon as I see something I like, or do something I like I feel guilty, I have to realize he is the one who is blessing me with these things, he doesn't want me to feel guilty!
For example I just watched my favorite clip from this years tony awards, it was the Lion King performance and every time I watch it I get chills and it puts a huge smile on me, and gives me a positive outlook, it makes me feel like I can work to become something, I guess you could say it inspires me.... so I was watching this clip and then I thought about God and how I disappoint him, and I don't even know what I was thinking... but it was along the lines that God is pissed off at me and I shouldn't enjoy myself because of what I've done..then I got worked up again.. and now I'm realizing that that is stupid! God wants to bless me, and show his love and wants me to enjoy myself, just as much as I want all that for myself! He doesn't want me to miss out, just as much as I don't want to miss out....!!! AHHHH
I feel so good!!!!
I hate teenage emotions I am always so mixed up but I got this one now! I know what is going on!!! ... I NEED TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR BEING SO DISTANT.... GOD ALREADY FORGAVE ME FOR THAT..... AND AS FOR MY STRUGGLING FAITH THAT IS SATAN WANTING ME TO SUFFER! BUT SATAN... YOU SUCK!!! YOU SUCK EGGS!!! SO WOOOOOOOOOOOO HAHAHAHAH!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO
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