Flame Burning Out.

When I stop and take time to study who I am, what I do, and how I react to thing, I become less than impressed.
Lately it feels like my passion, my yearning to learn, to grow, to perfect, to live for God, all has gone to the dogs. I feel like I am "burning out"... And quite frankly, there is no need of that!
I need to get my act together, be cautious of my actions and how they make others feel, I need to live and believe in the God who made and believes in me everyday.

Another thing that won't stop tormenting my mind is this...

At a young age I was taught to believe in God, to worship and love this increidble Saviour. At first I went along with it, nothing felt special.. Then, one summer (two years ago) I had an incredible experience with Him. It became personal and intimate and I have been trying to go with that for two years now, I continuously have ups and downs, but at this point in time I find myself constantly questioning everything I was ever taught, things like "If I was raised not knowing about God, what would my life be like now?" or, "Am I missing out on things because I am so busy worrying about how this is affecting my relationship with Jesus?"....

As soon as my mind utters these thoughts I am pounded by mounds of guilt. Is all this confusion caused by the teenage mind? If so.... well that is just lame.. I want to know what is going on.

This is ridiculous, as I write this more things pop into my head, like.. if God is there he cannot be impressed with me right now, and if he isn't why am I waisting so much time worrying about what he thinks!

It's funny really, I was so secure in my faith and then I crumbeled, and now look at me.. a 16 year old guy sitting in his house worked up to tears wondering whats going on!

Damn you crazy adolescent emotions!

So what am I going to do about it, I am going to read my bible tonight before I sleep and ask for forgvness for thinking such foolidh thoughts.. I don't know what else to do.

Feel free to comment.