I Will learn the Sound of Silence.

When you came looking for me
I thought it was over
I thought we were history
And all I could think about
Was how I let You down
Oh, how I’d let You down
My heart has played the harlot
And wandered far from home
Like a ship without an anchor
Drifting on it’s own
When You came calling
Always calling
And down to the altar I go
All alone, together
And now on this altar I fall
Abandoned, surrendered, yielded
I am Yours!
I am Yours!!

I just spent about 25 minutes in my room listening to music and closing my eyes and really just focusing. I felt some really cool stuff. I grabbed a journal and just wrote down things that popped into my head. Here is some of them.
I've missed soaking in the splendor of his mesmerizing presence. You can simply stay there and just feel like nothing is wrong.
God hasn't given me something to say yet I feel like he is still working on building our relationship up and I know I can't rush that.
At one point I laid down and closed my eyes and saw me sitting in an empty room by myself crying out for God and this extreme glow of gold came hovering on top of me in the form of a blank and warmed me, and my heart.
One thing that happens to me whenever I close my eyes and really solely focus on God is I get shivers down my spine, and some people hate that, but for me it is a complete sign of feeling his presence.


All that was great, then the song Jealous by Phil Joel came on. That song does something to me everytime I read it, the lyrics at the top of this post is from that song, and I feel it totally is displaying a picture of God and I. At one point I just felt so filled with joy that I wanted to cry, but I'm not there yet. I was thinking about who I was, and what I've done for God and what he has done for me. He gives me so much, it is remarkable. I want to freely give myself up.

Lord, I want to yearn for you.



I know right, messed up blog, not so much organization, very scattered. That resembles my relationship right now. It is there, and it is finally working again, just a little scattered. I am excited to grow. And grow I will.