I think it's safe to say that for at least the past five days I haven't been as close with God, but you know whats weird, I didn't even really notice.
I noticed how much I hated everything, how much of a rotten attitude I had, how much of a terrible brother and son I am, how many bad habits I have been bringing back, but not once have I been like "oh I need to come back to God."
I bought I new bible yesterday and I was reading it, but all I could think about was how much of a terrible son to my heavenly father I had been. I'm telling yah... so stupid.
I woke up this morning crying to God... please put a smile on my face and help me just get through this, it makes no sense. Whats wrong with me!!!!
Sure, the devil is totally on my back, screaming at me to screw up, and yet at times he has succeeded while other times he hasn't... but I have the power to defeat him.
There have been so many things on my mind lately, that when other people try to talk to me about something else I completely shut down and ignore them... I am being pathetic.
Its so stupid though, God can overcome anything, the temptation of the flesh... the temptation of the devil, EVERYTHING!
Why won't I just buckle down and commit, and change myself with the help of the Lord my God?
Why not?
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