I am honest.

Gravity - Sara Barielles

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.


Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.


I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down


This song really just makes me think for some reason, I don't know if its because of stuff that I've been through, or the battles that we face everyday with certain people... but this song just has something.
Check it out.

Anyway, I went to church today, and for some reason (even though things are better between God and I now, church just makes me yawn, I feel nowhere close to God, nowhere, happy, all I can focus on is my bad attitude. Why is that?)

Also, I miss my camp. It was like at that beach God and I were so close I could put my hands in the air and be touching him. Here, not so much, I feel dirty, and reminded about everything that I have done to screw up, and things that I do now that I hate about myself.

One more thing.
Lately I have been feeling that certain things that I have been doing in my life all along now, don't cut it.. Now are unacceptable, now make me feel guilty, and in a way I like that, it makes me feel like I've stepped up. But it also means work... I think I can handle it though.







P.S. I spent two hours of my day today doing nothing but rocking out to musical soundtracks in my living room. Woah, lifes good. Then, when I was out of breath, I would read Harry Potter. Yes I was a poser, I bought all the books but never picked one up. Ha, lets see how that goes.